he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My pussy is not your playground.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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