Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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