Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
