he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
