There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
