my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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