i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize