Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
