We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
