wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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