I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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