Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
well you can't waste a boner
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
