Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
