Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
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Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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