wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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