I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
