Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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