dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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