Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
