Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
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we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
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Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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