well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
