You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
