maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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