I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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