Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
