Swine flu. Run for my life!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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