I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
