we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
