If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
