My boss' voice literally gives me gas
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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