Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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