I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
