is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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