shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
