Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize