but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
