the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
