it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
