Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You are the jesus of drinking
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
