i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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