Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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