Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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