I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
