Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
high people should be assigned attendants
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
