dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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