you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
