dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
