What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My ass is underappreciated
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
