im six kinds of drunk right now
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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