her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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