I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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