Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
