Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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