It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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