my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
