i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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