He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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