if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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