It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize