Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I can text with my tongue
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
