Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
